


Unwanted

by bimbofish



Category: Pocket Monsters | Pokemon - All Media Types, Pocket Monsters: Sword & Shield | Pokemon Sword & Shield Versions
Genre: Animal Death, Depression, Everything gets better in the end for the most part, Minor Hopyuu, Sonia lore, Suicide mention, Time Skips, Weight Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-26
Updated: 2020-09-26
Packaged: 2021-03-08 01:01:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,213
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26667112
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bimbofish/pseuds/bimbofish
Summary: Leon became Champion and she didn’t hear from him for ten years.  Sonia was diagnosed with depression and decided that some people could never be great.
Relationships: Dande | Leon & Sonia, Hop & Sonia (Pokemon), Kabu & Sonia, Kibana | Raihan & Sonia, Rurina | Nessa & Sonia
Kudos: 16





	Unwanted

**Author's Note:**

> Preface: Sonia's depression and feelings of hopelessness are related but not directly intertwined. Mental illness does not directly hinder someone's ability to achieve their dreams, it can be overcome. There are several lines in here that imply that Sonia cannot be great because of her depression, but I promise that is only her depression talking and she goes onto do many amazing things as shown in canon.
> 
> Quick little blurb, I would hate for someone to take this the wrong way without me doing a little bit of explaining (^_^); !!

Sonia was fourteen when she determined she was unwanted. Opal told her so, with a statement she thought everyone in Ballonlea could hear.

“You are not fit to be a trainer if you give up the moment things start to look bleak.”

So she quit.

No one seemed to notice, no one seemed to care, Leon only realized once he was in the Finals over a quick call where Leon begged Sonia to battle again and she cried her heart out. Leon had to cut it short because it was his turn to head out to the pitch.

Leon became Champion and she didn’t hear from him for ten years. Sonia was diagnosed with depression and decided that some people could never be great.

Most of her days were spent cooped up in her bed, the last of her money she earned from battling blasted on cheap mascara, two eyeshadow palettes, and a new skirt. Gran came into her room one day to tell her that Raihan and Nessa, two friends she made during her challenge, moved on to become gym leaders.

She cried over it for weeks.

* * *

Kabu stopped by their house more frequently. He was the only one Sonia would let into her room with no hesitation. He would always sit on her vanity stool after delivering some Lava Cookies he learned to make in Hoenn and update her on the outside world.

“There’s a publicity event coming up next week. Your friends are going to be there,” He told her just after she turned eighteen. “You should come, just to catch up and see how they’re doing.”

Her vision blurred and she sniffed, looking down at a half eaten cookie. “I don’t think they’re my friends anymore.”

“How come?”

“They never talk to me anymore.” Sonia swallowed the pulp that was left in her mouth.

“Do you try to talk to them?”

Sonia didn’t respond. They both knew the answer. Finding the energy to move was hard enough, nevermind communicating with anyone outside of the house.

“You know, once they found out I’m your uncle, they always ask me about you.”

She looked up. He met her gaze and smiled.

“Ooh yeah, every time I see Leon, he always comes up to me and asks how you’re doing. He always asks how I’m doing second.” Kabu chuckled, pulling Yamper up onto his lap to scratch his chin. “The kid’s grown a whole lot. He’s nearly as tall as I am. You should see Raihan, he surpassed me a while ago-- Kid grows like a weed.”

That brought a small smile to her face and she decided maybe it would be nice to go. Kabu took her and her pokemon for a walk as he told her about the event. It happened before every season, where Marco Cosmos would try to hype up the upcoming wave of challengers. Gym leaders would all participate in a Q & A and battle exhibition as well as a televised luncheon.

“You won’t be there for the full time, it’s all boring stuff, but before the Q & A, we always have an hour to ourselves to get ready-- Makeup and stuff. Everybody finishes early, but the extra time is to make sure no one has any last minute wardrobe malfunctions. Did you know they prolonged it because one time I got a huge rip in my shorts? Right up the butt, it was so embarrassing. Delayed the interview for half an hour while someone tried to get me a new pair of shorts.”

When she arrived, it was busier than she anticipated. Makeup artists were rushing about looking for Leon, who apparently got lost along the way, everybody was partnered up with at least one person. Kabu was quickly swept away by a young woman with hair in a slicked back ponytail who grumbled about him being late. Amidst all the chaos, she stood alongside Yamper, alone.

Raihan found her first, jumping out of his chair and scooping her up into a giant hug. He was stronger than he remembered--physically-- and taller; when they did their challenge he was shorter than her. Even though he was younger, his voice was deeper and lost his rounded baby face to the angles and edges of puberty. Sonia would go as far to call him attractive.

His artist nearly begged him to come back to his chair so she could powder his face, and only returned dragging Sonia by the wrist.

“How long has it been Son? Time flies by so fast, I can hardly remember.” He chuckled, his artist whined for him to please stop smiling for just a moment.

“It felt like forever to me,” Sonia mumbled, looking into the mirror to notice that she too had aged. And that her winged eyeliner was pointing at two different angles. “I think four years?”

“Too long. I can’t believe four years passed already.”

She could. It felt like forty.

The moment Nessa caught sight of her, she shrieked and bolted towards her, nearly knocking Raihan’s makeup artist over to wrap her in hold tight enough to suffocate her. She too was taller, deeper-voiced, and prettier. So much prettier. Sonia felt embarrassed to be next to her.

What followed was a series of “Where have you been?”s, “What have you been up to?”s, “Do you still battle?s”, and “Why don’t you come to some of our battles soon?”s. Sonia didn’t know how to respond. At home, nothing new, no, and maybe wasn’t exciting enough. Soon Raihan and Nessa began talking only to each other about things she didn’t understand. But every so often Raihan would reach out for Sonia’s hand and Nessa would lazily wrap her arms around Sonia’s neck and continue on with conversation.

It was warm. She felt empty, but it was warm. Enough to make her face hurt from smiling so much.

She couldn’t remember the last time she felt that way.

“There’s talk of a new upcoming gym leader, Son, have you heard about him?” Nessa looked down at the back of her head, Sonia muttered a ‘no’ before she continued. “It’s Melony’s son. He’s a little younger than us but she’s mentioned it a few times. Nothing the press have caught onto yet but Rai and I are full of fun little League secrets.”

“Yeah,” Raihan chidded, “Like how a ton of gym leaders are going to be retiring soon.”

Sonia’s eyes widened. “Even Kabu?”

Raihan snorted and shook his head. There was a woman with a microphone who called the attention of everyone backstage, announcing the interview would begin in five minutes and all gym leaders should report to the stage entrance. Raihan and Nessa squeezed Sonia in one last hug before departing with a promise they would stay in touch.

She didn’t see Leon.

* * *

On her nineteenth birthday, Kabu stopped by to offer Sonia a Friend Ball.

“I’m hearing you’re starting to venture out of the house a little more, Raihan and Nessa never let me hear the end of it. I want to offer you a job at the Motostoke Gym as my secretary. It’s busy work, but it’ll help you build confidence to get out even more.”

She accepted his offer before being smattered with applause from Gran and Gramps, hugged close by Kabu. Inside the pokeball was a Salandit, who in secret she nicknamed Hope.

At first, she struggled. Being in close contact with so many people at once proved to be a challenge, but Kabu and his gym trainers were patient and gave her tips on how to hold a conversation over the phone, how to manage the League’s schedule with their own, how to format a professional email, and keep a running schedule.

Within a year, she excelled and grew closer with Kabu and his trainers. Sonia did most of her work in empty stands, watching as they all trained until breaking point, and after that they would call her down for a pokemon battle. At first she refused, then she thought about it then she gave in and decided to humor them. Hope made battling fun again. It was the adrenaline rush she had been missing and reawakened parts of her she forgot she had.

Raihan would stop by often, mostly to check in with Kabu’s schedule, and once he found out Sonia was there, would stop by to grab lunch with the three of them, sometimes just the two of them together.

“When’s the last time you’ve seen Leon? He doesn’t really talk about you.” Raihan asked through a mouthful of steak.

“Swallow your food,” Sonia sighed, lazily forking around her salad. “I haven’t seen him since I quit the challenge. Not even at the Q & A that one time.”

“And he hasn’t reached out to you since?”

Sonia shook her head. Raihan swallowed and dragged a hand over his mouth, leaning back in his chair.

“Want me to talk to him for you? I miss it when the three of us are together.” He grinned, she chewed through a tomato to keep her mouth busy.

“If you want, I guess. I don’t know, I just, I don’t know.” She focused on her dish entirely. A moment of silence fell between the two before Raihan smoothed his hands over the front of his shorts.

“What happened when you quit?”

Sonia hiccupped. Before she knew it, she was weeping on the outdoor patio of a fancy little cafe in Hammerlocke, where everyone could see her if they so pleased.. She told Raihan everything, about how she could barely move, how each and every day dragged on forever, how she lost all motivation and lost so much weight because of it, how she questioned whether or not waking up was even worth it.

At first, he didn’t say anything. He let her talk, and once she was finished, offered her his napkin to dry her face, then told her he would be calling Kabu to let him know she would be taking the rest of the day off. As much as she wanted to fight him, she didn’t. Once her face was dry and she was stable enough to walk, he took her back to his place high up in the Hammerlocke Castle.

“I moved in here shortly after becoming a gym leader,” he explained, hands deep into his pockets. “Parents live in another tower. It’s easier that way.”

He led her into his bedroom and invited her up on his bed, swaddled with satin orange sheets that hurt her eyes. She hesitated, he sighed and kicked his shoes off.

“Nothing dirty’s going to happen if that’s what you’re worried about. I just think you need a break. We can talk or we won’t talk. Whatever you want to do, I didn’t want to leave you sobbing at lunch.”

Sonia loosely giggled before unbuckling her boots and crawling onto his bed beside him, the two laying side by side and staring up at the ceiling, basking in comfortable silence.

“Do your Gran and Gramps know about it? Like, what happened?”

She hummed, he sighed.

“I’m sorry. I wish there was some sort of way I could’ve helped.”

“I’m doing better. I try not to think about it a lot, Uncle Kabu helps a lot. He used to come over a lot to help me get my pokemon and I out of the house.”

Raihan turned his head to look her over. “I almost forgot you had other pokemon. Who do you still have?”

Sonia shifted slightly, hands now clasped over her stomach. “I have Yamper, and then I evolved my Hoothoot, still have Thwackey and Clobbopus, and then Uncle Kabu gave me a Salandit last year.”

“Boy or girl?”

“Girl.”

He grinned, she caught sight of him and smiled back. “Her name is Hope.”

“That’s cute.” She laughed lightly and let the said pokemon out of her pokeball, where she scrambled onto Sonia’s stomach and flexed her dulap a few times before drifting off to sleep. Before either of them knew it, Raihan and Sonia fell asleep beside each other, waking up and drinking a quick cup of tea before he walked her to the train station and paid for her ride home.

* * *

Sonia was twenty when she lost all hope again. She lost Hope. She estimated one more pokemon battle would be enough to evolve her into a Salazzle, but this pokemon in the Wild Area was more than she could chew. Hope lost the battle, and before she could switch out, the Corviknight she took on had grasped her in its claws and flew off. Sonia froze. She scrambled to find her pokemon and tried her hardest to return her, only to find out it was too late. Hope was too far away for her pokeball to reach.

Hope was gone forever.

Sonia stayed in her room for months and had to quit her job as Kabu’s secretary. He stopped by to visit her more regularly. She assumed the stress of her condition got to him, for he lost his seat in the League. She never forgave herself for it, for losing Hope and costing Kabu his livelihood, no matter how many times he assured her it wasn’t her doing.

For a while, Kabu lived with them, not because he could no longer afford his old house, but because he wanted to keep an eye on Sonia. He was the first to notice that her face was a little thinner and she ate less of her meals and how she would stay up outlandishly late and sleep during the day.

There was a knock at the door one night, a time where Sonia had just woken up and was asked to answer it. Behind the door stood Nessa, a quilt over her arm.

“Hey, girlie. How are you doing?” Her voice was so quiet, Sonia hardly heard her. But when Nessa reached out to rub her arm, she understood what she had said.

“Go get ready. I’m taking you out, okay?”

“Nessa, you really don’t have to.”

“Go put some clothes on or I’ll strip and dress you myself.” Sonia smiled and welcomed Nessa inside, where she caught up with Kabu while she changed. Her pants were too loose for her hips, Nessa had knocked and let herself in to find Sonia sniveling. Nessa dug into Sonia’s closet to pull out a belt and a pair of sweatpants.

“I’m gonna take you star-gazing tonight, love. Your choice.” Sonia took the belt and secured it on the tightest notch with a soft sigh. Nessa pressed a kiss against her cheek, and rubbed her hand. After putting on a new shirt she got when she was sixteen, the two of them were off to Hulbury.

Nessa snuck them into the lighthouse and laid out the quilt on the floor, right in front of light and in front of the window. Sonia hesitated, Nessa waved it off.

“Hasn’t turned on for years, come sit.” So the two sat beside each other, silently at first until Nessa tucked her knees to her chest.

“I heard you lost your pokemon. I’m so sorry, Son.”

A sad smile later and Sonia was pulling the sleeves of her shirt over her wrist and dabbing her eyes.

“It’s hard. My Golduck just passed away recently.”  
“I’m sorry.”

“Thanks, but that’s not what I’m here to talk about.” Her legs flopped back against the blanket. “You’ve lost a lot of things in life, I can only imagine how hard it is for you. The gym challenge, those four years, your job…”

“My parents, don’t forget my parents.”

Nessa grew silent. Sonia intended it as a joke, but as the silence grew deafening she filled it with sniffles.

“I’m sorry, maybe I went too far.” Nessa muttered, Sonia shook her head.

“It’s okay, it wasn’t the right time to bring it up. It just, shocked me again I guess. Sometimes I don’t realize they’re gone or that I even had them to begin with… Would you mind if I, um, talk about them a little? And how they died?”

Nessa paused, but rubbed a slow hand up and down her back. “Tell me all you need.”

Sonia sighed and closed her eyes, hiccuping quietly before continuing. “My dad passed away in a boating accident. He fell overboard and a pokemon got scared and attacked him. Then my mom just, um, took her own life cause she was so distraught. I was four when it all happened but Gran was a wreck cause Mum was her daughter. They took me in but for all my childhood, and pretty much up until now, they always talk about what a great person my mum was. But I don’t remember any of it, it’s almost as if they expect me to understand what they mean.

“And it hardly feels like I got a chance to mourn. I was so young but everyone around me would always use me to kind of, like, get those feelings out. I think they thought it helped me by telling me details about her so I would know who she is but I don’t get it. I’m never going to have a mom, and stories about her aren’t going to fill those shoes. It just makes me really frustrated because even now Gran won’t stop talking about her and I just, I dunno, feel cheated? It’s hard to explain.

“Sometimes I wonder what would’ve happened to me if Mum was still here, and Dad too. Like, would I have been a better trainer? Would I get so upset so easily? Would I be… Like _this_?” Sonia gestured to herself, Nessa furrowed her eyebrows in protest.

“So much of my life has been focused around what I lost, accomplishing something just doesn’t feel real. I feel like if I even try to win at something, like battling or whatever, and I just barely start to do bad, I’ll just let myself ‘cause it’s hard to try at something I’ve never done before. You know?”

“But it’s because you lose that you have to push harder to keep winning.” Nessa urged, Sonia looked at her for a long while.

“It’s not the same.”

“It is. It doesn’t matter what you’ve been through, things will always get better. I’ve seen personally how strong and peppy you are, I know there’s that bit of you inside just waiting to come out. Try to find it for me, okay?”

Another kiss to Sonia’s cheek, her head resting on her shoulder as the two gazed up at the stars in silence.

They say that when a star dies, the supernova creates the right environment for new stars to grow. It makes a swirl of dreamy colors in the black of the night, Nessa pointed to the sky, somewhere among the dozens of stars in that little rainbow, and said, “That star’s you.”

Sonia looked down at her. “Why is that one me?”

Nessa lifted her head and grinned. “Cause I said so! Look, it’s the little one right next to the big bright one, just to the right and down a little-- see it? You’re so close to getting what you want, it’s right there, Soni. And one day, you’re gonna shine bigger and brighter than all the stars around you.”

Sonia saw the star and named it Hope Jr.

* * *

Kabu got his seat back the following year, having done plenty of extra training to help ensure he’s better than ever. He started exercising a lot more himself, shedding inches around his waist until it was chiseled to perfection. Sonia was gaining back the pounds she lost, slowly but surely. Gramps showed her how to make curry.

Leon’s mum had a child right when he became Champion. A little boy named Hop, who grew up without a big brother to look up to. Just a name and a face on T.V. By the time Sonia was twenty-one, Hop was seven and she was looking for a new job. Gran had heard about it out of earshot and suggested Sonia pay her a visit. So after whipping up a batch of Spicy Apple Curry (Gran mentioned that Hop liked it), she showed up at their door.

Sonia couldn’t recall the last time the two had seen each other. Being in and out of depressive episodes took a toll, but when Leon’s Mum opened the door and gasped, she almost felt all those years melt away.

“Sonia… Oh, dear, is that you?” A hearty laugh and a hand on her upper back welcomed her inside, where a young boy pretended to crash his toy Charizard into his toy Pikachu on the living room floor.

Her heart leapt. He had Leon’s eyes.

“It’s so nice to see you again.” Sonia smiled, holding the container of curry in front of her. “I made you some food, I thought we could catch up-- If you’re not too busy, that is.”

With a beaming smile and a familiar sadness in her eyes, Leon’s Mum took the container and set it on the counter behind her, her free hands now pulling Sonia into a tight hug. With these heels on, she was taller than her now.

“It’s so good to see you again,” She repeated into her shoulder. “Gosh, I missed you kids. I still remember when my little boy set out on his journey, he cried but you were there to pull him onto the train. I honestly think he wouldn’t have gone if you didn’t go with him.”

Sonia chewed the inside of her lip, a hand rubbing up and down her back.

Leon’s Mum, who insisted to be called Ella, Hop, their grandparents, and Sonia sat down to enjoy her curry. Hop, who sat next to her, wouldn’t stop looking at her. She would flash a smile only for him to shyly turn away and take a dangerously large spoonful of rice, his mother begging him to please slow down. Sonia giggled to herself.

Once the meal was over, Ella’s parents thanked her for the meal with a kiss on both cheeks and returned upstairs to catch up with their soap opera. Hop stayed at the table, fiddling with his Charizard figure beneath the table.

“Do you like Charizard?” Sonia asked, Hop looked up at her and held it up in front of her face so she could get a better look.

“Leon has a Charizard! Do you think Leon’s cool?” He chirped, Sonia smiled and nodded although unsure of her answer. “My brother’s the best. He’s the unbeadle champion!”

“Unbeatable?”

“Yeah!”

Sonia propped her elbow up on the table, looking down at his pokemon. “What if you beat him? Then he wouldn’t be unbeatable, right?”

Hop had never heard that phrase before, but she could hear his mother snickering from afar. He took a long look at his toy, before looking back up at Sonia and shaking his head.

“He’s unbeadle… Unbead-uh-ble”

“There you go. But I think you can beat him. If you’re anything like your brother, you’re gonna give him a run for his money. She lightly tousled his hair.

“What does that mean?”

“It means that if you have hope, I think you could be the next Champion.”

It got late, with a hug goodbye to Hop and Ella, Sonia left. The next day, Gran got a call from Ella asking that Sonia come over again, that Hop missed her.

* * *

When Hop was ten, Sonia took him out to catch his first pokemon. Even though she didn’t battle nearly as much as she used to, she assured Ella that her pokemon were strong enough to protect the both of them from the pokemon on Route 1.

Sonia gave Hop her Yamper’s pokeball, letting him know that he knew Crunch, Charm, Spark, and Roar. The first pokemon they encountered was a Nikit, who Hop easily defeated using Charm and Spark, upset that the pokemon was unable to be caught. The next one was a Wooloo, who Hop used Spark on and threw a pokeball. Success, and Hop wouldn’t stop playing with the little one for the rest of the day. Sonia sat by and listened as he told his new friend all about his brother and that together, the two of them would take him down.

* * *

A few months later, she got a call from Ella, who told her Leon was back in town, asking if she wanted to visit. A pang of sadness coursed through Sonia, who told her she was in Hulbury with Nessa and Raihan celebrating her twenty-fourth birthday. With a quick congratulations, Ella had to cut the call short. Sonia pocketed her phone and dragged her hands down her cheeks.

“What’s up?” Raihan asked, cracking a Krabby claw open.

“Leon’s back in Wedgehurst.”

“And?”

“I haven’t seen him since I was fourteen. Like, nine or ten years?” Nessa and Raihan exchanged looks, Sonia tried not to notice as she dipped some meat into melted butter.

“He’s been talking about you more,” Nessa confessed, Sonia looked her way. “He’s saying he feels like you’re replacing him.”

“ _Replacing_ him?” She echoed in disbelief. Raihan pretended not to hear what was going on.

“Yeah, like, you and Hop… Hop talks about you more than he talks about him now.”

Sonia sighed and shook her head, fishing for another piece of Krabby meat within the shell on her plate. “You should hear that kid. He never stops talking about Leon. I’m surprised he even mentioned me.”

“What’s your and Hop’s relationship, anyway?” Raihan asked through a mouthful of Krabby.

“Swallow.” Sonia smirked, he swallowed. “I babysit him, mostly. Their mum got a job a few years back as a receptionist for the Budew Inn in Motostoke. Gran’s bugging me about finding a better job that pays more, but I really enjoy looking after Hop. He’s just like Leon when he was little. Full of fire and always bouncing all over the place, dare I say even more so.”

Nessa snorted, Raihan bit back a laugh, and Sonia smiled. She remembered a time where she struggled to do even that, but when talking about Hop it seemed to come so easily. And when she was around Nessa and Raihan, it was easy too. And Kabu too, and…

Sonia sniffled, a hand instantly covering her nose as she could feel herself tearing up. Nessa, who sat right next to her, put a hand on her knee as she lightly sobbed.

“I’m okay.” It wasn’t a reassurance to Nessa, it was a revelation. She finally felt better. Sonia was proud to safely say she was in a better spot than she was years prior. “I’m okay!”

Nessa ordered herself and Sonia a flute of champagne to celebrate, and an “apple juice for the baby over there”, jeering a thumb towards Raihan, who tossed his napkin at Nessa and ordered one for himself too.

“I’m legal.” Raihan loudly reminded Nessa, who snickered and discreetly tucked his napkin under Sonia’s thigh, hiding it from him so he would have to search hard to find it.

They made a toast to Sonia’s recovery and went their separate ways after Raihan spent five minutes looking for his napkin. Nessa had a battle that afternoon and Raihan needed to talk to the Chairman about the Powerplant in his castle.

Sonia arrived in Wedgehurst and knocked on the door, Hop the one behind it with a frown.

“Lee just left.” Sonia pursed her lips before ruffling his hair and kissing the top of his head.

“That’s alright. I came to see you.” She cooed and stepped inside.

“He’ll be back again soon! He has to go talk to the new Turfield gym leader tomorrow and then he’ll be back!” Ella shot Sonia a look, she understood instantly.

“You know how your brother is, Hop. Always pants with directions.”

“Always pants!” Hop giggled.

Sonia was paying one of the neighbors for some of their home-grown vegetables when Yamper barked at her feet. She turned around to watch him run off down the stairs to Route 2. With a shriek of his name, she carefully treads after him, careful not to twist an ankle in her heels. He was barking into a small patch of trees to the left, and soon he stepped out of the thrush to find her pokemon, and then her.

“Sonia?”

She gave a sheepish smile. “Hi Leon.”

Their encounter was nowhere near as legendary as she imagined. It was an awkward side hug and helping him find his way to Gran’s house because he wanted to ask about her research for the Chairman. Gran waved her off to the kitchen to prepare some tea while the two of them talked. He didn’t look at her again.

She put the vegetables away and retreated upstairs, biting back a whimper.

* * *

The next time she saw him was after she saw it. A giant blue beast, beaten and tattered, yet strong and resilient as it stared down at her. Gran gave her quite the earful, insisting such a beast was a figment of the mist and she was imagining it all, and insisted she worked in the lab to help her get back in touch with reality.

Sonia was twenty-six then, Leon’s birthday would be approaching and soon they would be the same age.

“What was it you saw?” Leon asked after being welcomed inside the Research Lab, finding his way to the table in the corner.

Her eyebrows knitted together as she watched him make himself comfortable, flipping out that cape of his behind him. She tried not to notice how much he aged since they last met. His shoulders were broader, arms thicker, and voice unrecognizable from the squeal she was used to.

“Good morning to you too.” Sonia growled, making her way to awkwardly shuffle some papers she was previously fiddling with while Gran wrote her monthly report on her research. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“C’mon, I know you do,” he pressed, “the beast.”

She swore she heard Gran’s typing delay for a moment, eavesdropping. Sonia bit her lip, lightly tapping the stack on the desk before her. Until he addressed her properly, she would not give him the satisfaction of her full attention.

“What beast?”

“The one Hop told me about. He said you saw it in the Slumbering Weald.”

Her back straightened until she was straight up.

“So that’s all you cared to come here for?”

Now she was facing him, and her chest hurt when she looked into his eyes. Those were the same eyes as the boundless gym challenger she knew as a child. The same ones Hop has-- still bright and full of life.

His eyes may not have changed, but he did. She has to. If he stood, she wouldn’t be looking down at him anymore.

“Is that so wrong?” Leon glanced towards a bookshelf, then back to her, his hands smoothing down his shorts.

“It’s been two years. And before that, ten years. It’s been twevle years and you think you can waltz in here like we’re still friends?”

Sonia could hardly believe what was coming out of her mouth until she had said it. Gran kept typing. Leon kept staring. Sonia didn’t feel as tall as she was a second ago or those twelve years ago. Biting back an apology, her heels clicked their way over to the table to pour him a cup of tea.

“How have you been?” She started, trying hard not to allow her voice to quiver as much as her hands. She was embarrassed that Leon seemed to take notice, she could feel his eyes boring right through her wrist.

“Busy.”

“Of course.”

“How about yourself?”

Sonia poured herself her own cup, clearing her throat before she sat down. “Unwell.”

The way he looked at her almost made her want to shrivel up on the spot. His eyes still looked so kind. What did he think about her eyes? Were they enough? Did he feel how analytical her gaze on him was? She took a sip.

“I’m sorry.” He sighed, leaning back in his chair to take the cup by the handle, tilting his chin up just-so to inspect its contents before raising it to his lips.

“It’s mint tea.” Sonia clarified, he hummed into his drink, bringing it away from his lips with a scowl.

“Hot too.”

Sonia snorted and shook her head fondly, trying not to pay attention to how his face lit up at the sight. He reached his hand across the table, palm open faced and fingers lazily outstretched. They exchanged a look before Sonia put her hand into his.

“I’ve been unwell too.” Leon offered a sad smile once he saw just how much his words shocked her. “I trust you’ll keep this to yourself when I say that it’s all so much, Soni. It’s so hard. If I could’ve visited you sooner, I would’ve.”

His fingers curled around her own, Sonia hooked her thumb around them and brought his knuckles to her forehead.

The door opened and closed, she looked away to see Gran was gone. The champion and his old rival looked towards one another and said nothing.

Then Sonia laughed and tears fell from her eyes. Before long, Leon was laughing and crying too, reaching across the table to wrap his arm around her head and bring it against his shoulder. She allowed it, and the two of them wept until their clothes were soiled with each others’ tears.

* * *

[ Hop’s almost 14. Don’t you think he could start the Gym Challenge soon? Ur mom and I have been talking about it ] The text was sent, and in a matter of hours Leon was back in Postwick, bringing Hop what seemed like a lifeworth’s supply of Wooloo-shaped marshmallows. His favorite, Sonia suggested it.

As much as Hop insisted he wanted to stay and talk to Lee, he promised a friend he would go out and watch a movie with her. Leon looked at him quizzically before Sonia and his mum explained that a girl just moved in next door a few months back.

“Her name is Gloria.” Ella chidded with a gleam in her eyes. “A quiet girl, but Hop never stops talking about her.” Leon busied himself with his cup of tea to avoid thinking about it.

“I think he could be ready for it.” Sonia piped up, a finger rubbing against the lip of the cup. “He’s definitely got the drive for it.”

“But is drive enough?” Leon’s voice got deeper. “I don’t know, it makes me nervous.”

“This is what he’s always wanted, Leon.” Sonia insisted, abruptly leaning forward until her ribs touched the table. “He’s always wanted to go out and be a strong trainer like you, drive is enough to keep anybody going, he will figure it out and if not, we’re always there to help him.”

“But what if he loses that drive and gives up? What will his journey be worth then?”

Leon wasn’t talking about Hop anymore. Sonia leaned back in her chair as his mum spoke up.

“I also think he’s ready. It’s never easy seeing my kids grow up, but he does really want this. I think he deserves to go out and see the region for himself. He deserves it just as much as you did, Lee.” She smiled, jaded and wise, and the two rivals understood.

“Hop, c’mere. I want to show you something.”

“Sonia?” He yawned, looking out at the darkness outside. “It’s really late, and Lee’s coming home tomorrow, I want to make sure I get enough sleep so he doesn’t see me tired. He’s supposed to bring pokemon for Gloria and I.”

“Oh, forget about Lee. Come on, I’ll be quick. Just come!” Sonia was waving him outside, and reluctantly he shuffled out. She led him right outside the gates until they stood under a starry sky. She pointed up.

“Do you see that star right there? The little star next to the big bright one? Lower right of it.”

He squinted. “Uh… Think so.”

“That star’s named Hope Jr. It used to be my star, but I want to give it to you.” He took a step away from her to look her up and down and laugh.

“What’s all this about?”

Sonia pulled him back by wrapping an arm around his shoulders with a tight squeeze.

“That little star is gonna be bigger and brighter than the star next to it one day. It’s apart of a supernova-- a dead star-- meaning that it’s still growing because the supernova acts like fertilizer. So that means you’re gonna be bigger and brighter than the big star one day.”

She pressed a kiss against his forehead.

“I wished on that star for years when I was younger. I want you to wish on it too.”

“Did your wishes come true, Sonia?”

She smiled. Hop was the star in her supernova. Even if she didn’t have hope, she had no problem nursing the dreams of those who still had a chance.

“Yeah, they did.”

Sonia was twenty-seven when she determined she was wanted.

**Author's Note:**

> Might make a sequel, not sure yet


End file.
